I had a conversation today that made me pause and really reflect. We were talking about life you know, the kind of talk that goes deeper than surface-level small talk. I found myself opening up about how my experiences have shaped me, especially in how I relate to others.
I’ve learned something important: even when I have a negative thought or judgment about someone or a situation, I almost always catch myself later wondering, What are they going through? Life has taught me that people act in ways that don’t always make sense on the surface, but there’s almost always something deeper behind it. I think that’s where empathy comes in when you’ve been through enough, you just start seeing people differently.
And I’ve been through… a lot.
Losing my mom was one of the hardest moments of my life. She wasn’t just my mom…she was my example, my comfort, my biggest cheerleader. Watching her battle cancer and then having to say goodbye is something I’ll carry forever. But somehow, that loss helped me understand others’ grief in a way I never could have before.
Then there’s the journey of being a mom. Raising a child with Asperger’s and with ADHD has given me a front-row seat to how hard the world can be for kids who don’t fit the mold and how hard it is for parents who are just trying to navigate it all. Add to that my child’s diagnosis with Type 1 diabetes, and you’ve got a crash course in how to live with constant awareness, vigilance, and worry. It’s a full-time job before the sun even rises.
At one point, I was also caring for my mother-in-law after her hip replacement. We later found out she had cancer too, and things spiraled quickly. Watching her struggle while trying to care for my own child’s newly diagnosed condition was a breaking point for me. I had to make the hard choice to step away from teaching, a job I loved, because something had to give.
My husband had a wonderful job… until he was fired just before Christmas for not wanting to follow COVID protocols. We had just been approved to buy a house. No insurance. No steady income. And a child needing expensive medication daily just to survive.
We were supposed to be building a life..putting down roots. Instead, we were watching everything unravel.
My husband had a wonderful job… until just before Christmas, when he was let go for not signing a form disclosing his COVID-19 vaccination status. It wasn’t that he caused a stir or refused to cooperate—he simply chose not to disclose that personal medical information. But in that moment, that choice cost him his job..
It all felt like a whirlwind..like I was watching someone else’s life happen in front of me. My mother-in-law’s health continued to decline. Eventually, they found a tumor near where her hip had been. She passed away in June 2021.
That year nearly broke me.
But you know that saying..what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? I believe it. Every loss, every diagnosis, every financial stressor, every tear and sleepless night..they’ve all changed me. And as painful as those experiences were, they’ve made me softer. Kinder. More aware. I find myself thinking of others in ways I never did before. I don’t brush off someone’s frustration or bad attitude. I wonder what’s behind it. Because I’ve been the person barely holding it together. I’ve been the one hoping someone would just understand.
So if you’re going through something hard right now, I see you. If life feels like it’s coming at you all at once, I’ve been there. And I just want to say this: You will get through it. Maybe not untouched, but definitely stronger. And maybe, just maybe, a little more empathetic too.
Coffee IEPS Chaos 